


We'll Always Have Paris

by hrselovr101



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrselovr101/pseuds/hrselovr101
Summary: It's been 10 years since Sylvie Brett broke Matt Casey's heart. What was supposed to be the best moment in their life ended up being the moment when she walked away. Now reconnecting after over a decade for their college friends' wedding in the City of Love, can the two find their way back to each other? Or will they only have distant memories of their relationship to cling on to?
Relationships: Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett / Other Character, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 26
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello, everyone! I know some people were wondering if I was going to continue Happiness but since no inspiration came to me, I thought I'd just leave it as is. However, I had a new idea for a story, since the Brett and Casey dynamic is quite literally heating up on Chicago Fire, and it's a multi-chapter! I've already got the entire story outlined, which is a first for me since I usually start these and have nooooo idea where I'm going with them, so I'll try to update each week, to get us through the lack of episodes that will *not* be airing come early April. Also, due to the fact that quarantine is my life for gosh knows how much longer, I wanted to start a new, creative project. So, enjoy this fun little fic I'm really enjoying writing! It's kind of an alternate universe with some familiar elements thrown in for the sake of continuity from the show. All characters belong to the creators of Chicago Fire, though; I just come up with the story! Enjoy, and if you want to leave a review, I always love reading peoples' thoughts! xx

...

We'll Always Have Paris

…

"Babe, your computer's talking to you!" Jason Graham shouted from the kitchen. Sylvie Brett's computer was indeed talking to her, the FaceTime ringtone penetrating the silence of the rather quiet apartment except for the gentle summer breeze blowing in through the kitchen window.

"Can you answer it, J? I'll be there in a second," Sylvie called from the other room, scrambling to find her other earring.

Jason rounded the corner from the kitchen to grab a seat in one of the high-top chairs that complimented the high-top counter that overlooked their medium-sized kitchen quite nicely. He noticed Sylvie's wallpaper on her computer-a picture that was taken of the two of them shortly after they began dating at Central Park, looking adoringly at each other whilst eating ice cream-and clicked the green telephone icon. Stella Kidd's face suddenly appeared on screen with Kelly Severide's appearing somewhere in the background. Jason chuckled. That always seemed to be Kelly and Stella's dynamic-Stella was always the one in control in the relationship while Kelly was simply along for the ride. They mirrored his and Sylvie's relationship to an extent. Sylvie was always the planner, whereas Jason just wanted to do what would make the woman he was so madly in love with most happy. Thinking about where they started and how far they had come, he smiled easily before breaking out into a full-out grin when Stella's dimpled smile met his own.

"Hey! Jace, you're not who I was hoping to see," Stella greeted teasingly, situating herself on the couch she was perched on comfortably. She readjusted the phone so that she and Kelly were both in the frame now, Kelly's arm dangling over Stella's shoulder, like it naturally belonged there.

"Hey, man," Kelly added, giving Jason a virtual fist-bump.

"Hey, guys, good to see you both. Sylvie's coming in a second. I think she said she was doing something with her make-up?"

"Earring! I lost my damn earring again!" she shouted from the other room.

Jason heard her padded footsteps on their hardwood floors grow closer as she made her way into the kitchen / dining area, situating the earring where it belonged. Jason glanced over at his girlfriend and was, once again, blown away by her beauty. Her short blonde hair was wavy this morning and the white tank she had paired with her pink pastel colored shorts complimented both her eyes and skin tone beautifully. Every time he saw her, he was blown away by her beauty. It's like she cast out a radiance in whatever room she entered. Sylvie Brett was, quite literally, a walking ray of sunshine, and he was one damn lucky guy. As she made her way to him, he winked at her, making a rather vivid blush creep up her cheeks.

"Stunner," he whispered to her before turning his attention back to Stella and Kelly on the computer screen.

"Shut up," she teased, punching him playfully in the shoulder before peering over his shoulder to view her two friends on the screen.

"Hey, you kids! Sorry to be late to the party. In typical Sylvie fashion, I misplaced my earring and had to scramble to find it before I have to meet Emily."

Stella rolled her eyes and smirked at her best friend whom she'd known since their college days at Columbia University. While Sylvie ended up opting to stay in New York after graduation to pursue a career in elementary education, Stella and Kelly, already together, ended up moving to the Chicago area, laying down roots in the Windy City. Now being there for over 8 years, they were both incredibly happy and content with each other and with their shared line of work, firefighting. Sylvie had no idea how they made their relationship work when they literally saw each other 24/7, whether at the station or at home, but, I guess that's what happened when you loved someone the way Stella and Kelly loved each other; you don't care how many hours in a day you see each other because, at the end of the day, your each other's person.

Sylvie had had that at one point in her life, college to be exact, and then, in a blink of an eye, had given it up to follow her young and ambitious heart, which is how she found herself remaining in the Big Apple now. Seeing her two friends so incredibly smitten with one another made her own heart swell, yet at the same time, made her just a bit envious. Sure, she and Jason were in a good place, a really good place. But did she feel like he was her person? Most of the time she did, but every now and then she let her mind consider if she had said goodbye to her person a decade ago, at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower when he had gotten down on one knee to propose.

"Earth to Sylvie, you there?" she heard her friend ask through the computer, pulling her attention back to the conversation at hand. Sylvie shook her head quickly to clear her mind from her wandering thoughts of him before smiling sheepishly at Stella.

"Also in typical Sylvie fashion, you just caught me zoning out for a sec. What was that?" she asked, resting an arm on Jason's shoulder.

"Kelly and I wanted to share some exciting news with you guys!" Stella revealed drawing her left hand into frame, exposing the largest diamond-cut engagement ring. Both Jason and Sylvie let out a whistle at the exact same time.

"Holy shit, man. How the hell did you afford a ring like that?" Jason asked, stunned. Kelly looked admiringly at his fiancée and chuckled.

"You have no idea how many years it took to save up for that insanely small piece of jewelry," he started, earning a jab in the stomach from Stella when he referenced how her gorgeous diamond ring was "a small piece of jewelry." Kelly gave her a questioning glance and Sylvie laughed at his bewilderment. Men. Kelly continued, "but, once you know, you know . . . you know?"

Jason and Sylvie both assumed he meant once you know the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and nodded. Sylvie's eyes shone as she congratulated her two friends and she leaned in even closer to get a better view of Stella's ring.

"Wow, Kelly, you sure know how to choose 'em," she commented.

"Didn't he do a mighty fine job? I've raised him well," Stella said, patting Kelly's cheek softly.

Sylvie chuckled before continuing the conversation. "So, we need details. Where? When? How many guests? Lay it on us."

Realizing this FaceTime conversation wasn't ending anytime soon, Jason pulled a chair out for Sylvie and motioned for her to sit down.

"Well, we're thinking big, right? Because you gotta "go big or go home . . " Stella started. That was Stella, always coming up with grand plans and gestures. Their sophomore year of college, she had all 8 acapella groups on campus sing Kelly a mash-up of all his favorite songs for Valentine's Day on the quad. When that girl got thinking, there was no end to what she could and would come up with.

"Right, big," Sylvie reiterated, resting her arms on the counter. She felt Jason's arm drape over her shoulders and she leaned into his embrace slightly.

"So, we're thinkin' Paris! In about two weeks." Sylvie squeaked. Jason didn't even realize that sound could come out of his girlfriend's mouth.

"Oh my god, two weeks? Stella, you do realize how much planning goes into these kinds of things, right?" she questioned. Kelly, no longer being a passive observer, cut into the conversation.

"Oh, she knows, and because she also knew that I was planning on poping the question for multiple months now, she went ahead and did some pre-planning-planning, as in, called the caterers and venue and even began drafting out the entire fucking seating chart."

Jason snorted. "Get out. Then again, that's totally something Kidd would do."

"Right?" Kelly agreed.

"Anywayyyyy, so maybe I did already call the caterers and give the venue an idea of when the wedding would be, but that means there's less work to do now, and more celebration to be had." Stella shrugged before giving Kelly a quick peck on the lips. Turning back to the brunette and blonde on her screen, she added, "and, Sylvie, obviously you have to be my Maid of Honor. I wouldn't want anyone other than the person who got me through all of those frat parties we went to our freshman year by my side."

Sylvie shuddered at the memory of all those frat parties. Seriously, what were they thinking? College, what crazy times. Some not so good, some good, some really good. She caught herself from trailing down that path again and clapped her hands together.

"Stella, I'd be honored!"

She picked up her phone and sent Stella a kissing emoji, to which Stella responded with a tackle hug GIF because that was just the type of person she was.

"Are you two seriously texting each other while talking to each other face-to-face?" Kelly questioned with a tinge of judgment.

"Shut it, Severide. My woman does what she wants. I learned that a long time ago," Jason replied in a defensive yet teasing tone. Sylvie leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"My knight in shining armor, you are."

"Hey, Sylvie, there is one more thing we wanted to tell you," Kelly interjected, the look in his eyes growing more serious than a second ago. Sylvie knew that look. And she didn't like that look. She glanced quickly at Stella as if to ask, "do you know what this is about" and took a breath. Jason rubbed his hand along her back.

"Matt's going to be there. He, uh, he's my Best Man." Kelly fidgeted uncomfortably and rubbed a hand down his neck.

Wow, Matt. That was a name she hadn't heard in a while. Matt Casey. The man who stole her heart at 18, the man whose heart she broke at 22. She felt dumb thinking that his name wouldn't have come up during their chat; of course it would have. He, Kelly, and Jason were best buddies while at Columbia. They did everything together. They were even in the same damn fraternity together. And now, Stella was getting married to Kelly, and Sylvie was dating Matt's ex-best buddy. When had her life grown so complicated?

"But, Sylvie, there's no expectation for the two of you to do anything together since you're both part of the wedding party besides stand across from each other during the wedding itself," Stella chimed in, realizing how much discomfort Sylvie was feeling at the given moment.

Sylvie ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"No, it's okay. I don't know why I thought his name wouldn't come up. He's one of your best friends, Kelly, and you deserve to have him there," she finally managed to say between shaky breaths. "Damn, Matt," she muttered quietly to herself.

"How long has it been?" she heard Stella's voice ask through her Mac's speakers.

"Ten years. The last time I saw Matt was when we were in Paris, when he was down on one knee."

…

Columbia University, Freshman Year

"Welcome to Columbia University, everyone!" Matt heard their overly enthusiastic Orientation Leader shout to the rather small group. Looking around, he counted fourteen other incredibly uncomfortable, homesick, lonely college freshmen. He, himself, was pretty uncomfortable. He shifted awkwardly in the grass and readjusted the jacket he was wrapped in to keep the chilly night air out. Next to him sat a beautiful blonde dressed in a cashmere sweater paired with genes and black flats. He never knew someone could look so beautiful on their first day of college orientation.

"Let's all go around the circle and introduce ourselves, hm? That way we can all get acquainted since you'll be spending the next four years together, yay!" He maintained a quiet disposition as everyone else in the group let out an audible and unenthusiastic groan.

"These orientation activities are always so stupid," he noticed one guy say, a redhead with short-cropped hair. "Can't we just get the parties going already?"

"Yeah," several other guys chimed in, pumping their fists in the air. Their Orientation Leader, Lexi was it, rolled her eyes and ignored them.

"Who wants to introduce themselves first?"

"I can," he heard the blonde next to him say. Her voice was soft yet clear, filled with assertiveness yet sincerity. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was. She tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear and smiled.

"Hi, everyone. My name is Sylvie Brett. I'm originally from Fowlerton, Indiana, but I plan to stay in New York after my time at Columbia to pursue a career as a teacher. I'm majoring in elementary education and look forward to getting to know you all more this weekend!"

Matt didn't blink once as she talked. He was just so amazed by her beauty and grace. How was she already so put together when all the students had been on campus for less than a day? Her smile seemed to reach her eyes and there was something about her persona that had him drawn to her, like a moth to a flame. It was in that moment that Matt Casey vowed to himself that he was going to become one of Sylvie Brett's friends.

...

"Remind me how you know Stella and Kelly again?" Emily Foster asked from behind her cup of coffee. An elementary school teacher like Sylvie, she had instantly become one of Sylvie's good friends when Sylvie had started her job at their local school. Emily always had a way with words and the hugest heart of anyone Sylvie knew. Her kids loved her just as much as Sylvie did. Sylvie traced the rim of her own coffee cup and looked into the chocolate eyes of her friend.

"We all went to Columbia together. Stella and Kelly met their sophomore year and, I swear, I have never seen two people so smitten with each other their first-time meeting as those two were. I truly believe they were meant for each other." Emily smiled softly.

"Aw, they sound great. And they're both firefighters, right?"

Sylvie nodded.

"Yep, they both work at Firehouse 51 in Chicago. They moved to Chicago right after graduation but entered the Academy at different times. Somehow, they found themselves working together on the same shift and couldn't be happier. I'm happy for them. So happy for them. This engagement has been a long time coming," Sylvie reminisced.

"Matt works there, too, doesn't he?" Emily asked, searching Sylvie's face to see what her reaction would be to hearing his name, yet again.

Sylvie paused briefly. She thought by now, a week after Stella and Kelly broke the news to her and Jason, that she'd be better about hearing his name. Apparently not. Apparently, she still got chills or butterflies or whatever the hell those things were that entered the pit of her stomach and made her shiver and goosebumps to form on her arms. The damn man. Even after 10 years, he still had such a huge effect on her. He shouldn't though. She shook her head and drew in a breath.

"Yeah, Matt, Stella, and Kelly all lived together for a bit after college. Stella would always leave me random voicemails during the school day letting me know how lucky she felt to be living with not one but two "incredibly hot guys, like The Hulk level hot," Sylvie replied. When Emily quirked her eyebrow at Sylvie's word choice, she held her hands up defensively, "hey, those were Stella's words, not mine."

Emily chuckled.

"Well, from what I remember you telling me about Kelly, he sounds like a catch." She paused before continuing, a little softer this time, "Matt does too."

Sylvie's heart flipped again and she took a sip of the, now, lukewarm liquid, to get her mind off the sandy-haired, blue-eyed Captain of Firehouse 51.

"He is. And," she started, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, "Matt's going to be there. At the wedding. In Paris. As Kelly's Best Man."

Emily's eyes grew wide and she almost did a double-take, spilling some coffee over the rim of her cup in the process.

"No. Really? Wow. How do you feel?"

Sylvie hadn't truly let herself take the time to process all that she was feeling. She was so excited for Stella and Kelly yet definitely was not ready to see Matt again. Would she ever be ready? Hell, it had been 10 years and she still wasn't ready to take a stroll down memory lane and relive the last heartbreaking moments of their relationship. She wasn't sure if she ever would be ready, because that meant owning up to the fact that it was her fault. That she was the one who broke Matt's heart and knowing that broke her heart.

"Em, I don't know how to feel," she replied honestly, letting out an exasperated breath. "I'm considering telling Stella I can't do it. I can't go."

Emily blinked, as if to see if she had heard Sylvie correctly and grabbed her best friend's hands in her own.

"C'mon, girl, you're not serious, right?"

"Oh, but I am. The idea of seeing Matt again has my head and heart spinning. What if I'm not strong enough?"

"But what if you are?"

"I broke his heart. In Paris. After he freaking proposed! What kind of crazy person does that?"

"A person who isn't ready to settle down yet. To commit herself to someone and a life that she isn't ready to start. A person who has ambitious dreams and doesn't want anything or anybody to get in the way," her friend said, trying to erase the guilt Sylvie felt.

"I guess. And now, just like that, we'll find ourselves back in Paris, celebrating a wedding I can't help but think should be ours." The tone of Sylvie's voice was solemn and Emily could definitely make out a tinge of regret.

"Sylvie, it's not your fault. You weren't ready. You had big dreams, a life you wanted to start living. So, you did just that. You went and lived it. You're still living it, with a great guy by your side. Jason is awesome. And he cares about you, he really does," Emily comforted.

"He does, doesn't he?"

"Damn right, he does. And you're happy. That's all that matters. I say go to this wedding and enjoy the hell out of Paris. Handle everything else as it comes, if it comes," Emily finished.

Sylvie took a moment to let Emily's words sink in and then a crazy idea popped into her head. A slow grin began to spread across her pretty features.

"Hey, what are you doing next week? Feel like enjoying the hell out of Paris with me?" she asked Emily, throwing her friend's words back at her. Emily, excited but slightly more confused, shook her head.

"Wait, I don't understand, isn't Jason going with you as your Plus One?"

Sylvie shrugged and grabbed a generous helping of the blueberry scone that sat in the middle of the two of them.

"His advertising firm has got a big project that they need him for. You should've seen him break the news to Kelly. I'm pretty sure Kelly shed a tear or two."

Emily chuckled and helped herself to her own portion of the scone. She licked the sugary goodness off her fingers and pondered Sylvie's question.

"Well, you know I'm always up for an adventure filled with delicious food and foreigners. I'm in."

…

"This is your Captain speaking. As we approach Roissy Charles de Gaulle airport, please make sure that your tray tables are stowed and your seatbelts are buckled. On behalf of all of us, this flight crew and I are pleased to welcome you to Paris, France."

The overhead announcement woke Emily from her slumber and she caught Sylvie's amused eyes looking at her.

"Oh no, was I snoring?" she asked, innocently.

Sylvie snorted and patted her friend's arm.

"Nope, no snoring. I was just thinking about how happy I am to have you here with me. And you'll love Stella and Kelly. Especially Stella. She's great."

Emily leaned her head on Sylvie's shoulder and rubbed her friend's arm.

"I'm glad I'm here too. Someone's gotta help you through your man troubles, right?"

Sylvie hadn't thought about seeing Matt the entire plane ride over and that, in and of itself, was an accomplishment. She was hoping that when that time did come, she would be ready. Her heart would be ready. As their plane made a rather bumpy landing into Paris, Sylvie switched her plane off airplane mode and sent a quick text to Jason.

Made it safely. Paris sends its love, as do I.

Enjoy the wedding. Give Kelly an embarrassingly long hug for me. Miss you. Love you.

Sylvie quickly composed a text to Stella that involved the words "I'm here" and about 20 exclamation points before pocketing her phone.

"You ready for this?" Emily asked her, unbuckling her seatbelt and standing up for the first time since take off once the plane taxied and stopped at the gate.

"Can someone really ever be ready to see their almost ex-fiancé again in the city where his heart got broken?" she asked.

"Touché. At least you have another day or two before you see him."

Sylvie nodded her head and followed Emily off the plane reaching for her carry-on in the process. Sylvie forgot how big Paris' airport was. The last time she was here, she and Matt had hastily dashed off the plane to grab a taxi to begin sightseeing as soon as possible. Remembering the good parts of that trip, a small smile spread across her face, and she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She and Emily followed signs for baggage claim and didn't have to wait very long for their very overpacked bags to arrive on the belt.

"Oh my god, Emily, did you pack for just a week or for an entire year?" Sylvie teased, taking note of how much her friend's bag "popped," probably due to the excessive number of shoes she had packed. Emily Foster could not turn down the opportunity to show-off the many shoes in her collection.

"Contrary to what you're thinking right now, this bag doesn't contain as many shoes as it does extra bags to pack all of my souvenirs in," Emily countered, slinging her purse across her chest and leading the way to the airport's exit.

She was first to see him. And noticed him immediately, with his sandy-brown hair clipped short yet long enough to make him look incredibly attractive. No wonder Sylvie had had a thing for him. Emily was beginning to think she did too. Matt didn't recognize her but upon seeing her motion her head in Sylvie's direction, Matt's face broke into a faint smile. He wore faded jeans and a jacket that clad to his strong body and arms. He held up a sign that said "Welcome to Paris" and walked toward the two of them. Emily leaned over to Sylvie, who still hadn't seen Matt, and whispered, "incoming."

Sylvie's head suddenly swiveled in the direction of Matt Casey, and she was completely thrown off her axis. She told herself the entire plane ride that she could do this. She could handle seeing him after 10 years. But in that moment, when their eyes met, she suddenly realized she couldn't do it. The Matt Casey she had said no to a decade ago and left standing crushed in Paris was not the Matt Casey she saw walking toward them now. No, this Matt Casey had shorter hair, broader shoulders, and devastatingly beautiful blue eyes, the same blue eyes that captivated her the first time they had met freshman year. She was in trouble. Deep trouble. And there was nowhere to escape to this time around in Paris. As Matt approached them, Sylvie's heart started to beat quicker and her hands became clammy.

"Hi! You must be Matt. I've heard a lot about you," Emily introduced. "I'm Emily Foster. I work with Sylvie."

"Hey. Nice to meet you." Matt extended a firm and calloused hand Emily's way, and she shook it without hesitation. He turned to face Sylvie and she felt like he could see straight through the façade she had tried so hard to maintain the entire trip over to Paris.

"Hi, Sylvie."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: After a long delay, here is Chapter 2! I hope there's movement for them in S9. I love them so much. Enjoy! xx 

... 

Spring Semester, Freshman Year 

“You know,” Sylvie started to say in between licks. She held the rather large ice cream cone dipped in chocolate fudge delicately in her hand, and Matt couldn’t help but notice the way some of the ice cream clung to her lips. They were the perfect shade of red, rose almost, and he swore that Sylvie Brett was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He was smitten and shook his head at himself incredulously. He couldn’t believe how fast he had fallen for her, but someone as amazing as she wouldn’t be single forever. He figured now was his chance, and he was willing to risk all he had, because deep down, he knew she was worth it. And smiling ear to ear across from her, Matt Casey knew he had made no mistake in asking her out. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually work up the courage to ask me out,” she answered finishing off her cone and shooting her napkin into the trashcan across from her, making a clean shot. Matt raised his eyebrows in surprise that Sylvie had even made a shot like that and shrugged. 

“Me neither,” he replied honestly. “But I’m glad I did.” 

Sylvie admired the boy sitting across from her. He looked so young, but every now and then she saw flickers of a much more mature Matt Casey hiding behind those piercing blue eyes and sandy blonde hair that had now grown out since they first met that August day at orientation. She noticed his defined cheekbones and the small hairs growing on his chin, as if he was either trying to grow a beard or had forgotten to shave that week. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled and his teeth shone. He had a great smile, one she could get lost in for days, and one that made her want to constantly make him smile. He filled out the casual outfits he seemed to wear every time she saw him across campus quite nicely, and it was obvious she felt more than an emotional attraction to him—something physical was there, but she wasn’t even remotely prepared to acknowledge whatever that feeling was. She considered herself lucky in a way, to have found a friend in Matt Casey, someone who was sweet, affectionate, humble but also someone who had his own past and his own secrets that were kept hidden beneath his gentle and kind exterior. Deep down she knew there was so much more to Matt Casey than what met the eyes, and she was hoping he’d let her in, he’d let her get to see all of him. She smiled back at him and leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. The sleeves of her Columbia University hoodie rode up on her arms as they made contact with the wood surface and her hair blew ever so slightly as the evening breeze picked up. It had finally become nice in New York, at least nice enough to enjoy an ice cream outside of the campus’ gourmet ice cream shop. 

“What took you so long?” 

Her teasing gaze met his rather intense one, and as he polished off his own cone, he leaned forward too, mirroring her position and sighed. She couldn’t read his mind, what he was about to say, but she could venture a guess that Matt Casey was, once again, going to be his more than honest self. 

“I was scared you’d turn me down, and a guy can only be rejected so many times before it’s just a blow to his ego, you know?” 

“Oh my god, are you telling me that you, Matt Casey, have been rejected before?” 

He blushed, and Sylvie thought it was incredibly adorable how open and vulnerable he was being, with her. They were talking about feelings and stuff, and she had never talked about that with any of her childhood friends, let alone guy friends. The more she hung out with Matt, the more she was drawn to him, the more she realized she wanted to continue hanging out with him and see where their friendship could lead. 

“Once or twice. When I was in third grade, I picked a bouquet of daisies for this girl, Sophia, and asked her to be my girlfriend. Obviously, at the time, I was a stupid, love-sick third grader who had no idea what “girlfriend” even meant, and apparently neither did Sophia, because she took the daisies straight out of my hand and threw them at my face. She then proceeded to laugh and then ran away,” he admitted, looking down at his hands. He didn’t know how Sylvie would respond to his admission, but he definitely hadn’t considered that she’d reach out to gently rest her hands on top of his and gasp softly.   
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. That must’ve not been fun. Your poor third-grade self. If it’s any consolation, Sophia missed out. I mean, I know I’ve only known you for like, a semester, but you seem to be a pretty great guy, and I’m sure you were just as great in third grade as you are now,” she comforted, a twinkle in her eye. Matt looked up and met her gaze with his and smiled softly. 

“Thanks, Sylvie,” he started, before adding, “I’ve never really been a romantic type, especially after that incident. Shortly after I started middle school, my parents divorced and I really had a front row seat to the movie that was their dismantling marriage. Once the divorce was finalized, they had shared custody until I left for college, and that was a nightmare. They could barely stand being in each other’s presence, and I think seeing them so unhappy made me question if love really exists.” He took a breath, realizing how much he had just poured out to Sylvie and tried to analyze the thoughtful expression on her face. She didn’t seem like she felt sorry for him, but Matt could definitely sense an emotion on her face, was it sadness? Sorrow? Worse, pity? 

“I get it,” she replied softly and simply. “I sometimes find it hard to believe to think that love exists too. My dad died when I was just a kid. Cancer. It really sucked the life out of him. Much of my childhood was spent in the hospital sitting by his bedside as I watched my mom try to hold it together for the both of us. Once he passed, shortly after I started middle school, my mom lost it. She’d always be crying when I came home, and I always wondered if love was really that painful. She and my dad were high school sweethearts. I couldn’t believe that, one moment, he was right by my mom’s side, and the next, he was gone. His death broke her. Shattered her heart.” Sylvie paused to wipe away several tears that had fallen from her eyes. “And I think she’s still trying to pick up the pieces, all of these years later,” she managed to finish. 

Realizing how vulnerable Sylvie had just been with him made his own her swell and beat incredibly hard for this woman. He couldn’t stop the feelings that were brewing in his stomach, in his heart, for her, and he was fucking terrified of them. Moving from his position across the table from her, he slid in next to her on the wooden bench and wrapped his arms around her, now, trembling body. She welcomed his strong embrace and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. Matt could smell the lingering effects of her lilac shampoo as her blonde hair fell to over her eyes, and he rubbed her back softly. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Sylvie,” he said, barely above a whisper. She continued to cry and they sat in silence for a while, Matt holding her so tightly, so fiercely, he never wanted to let go. Once Sylvie felt like she had no more tears left to shed, she sniffled and recomposed herself, immediately missing Matt’s embrace around her. 

She chuckled. Matt gave her a questioning look. 

“Look at us. We’re two people jaded by love yet we’ve found ourselves talking about it on our first date. I wonder if it’s a sign.” 

“Sign? Of what?” he questioned, anxious to hear her response. She remained quiet for a few seconds before responding to his question. 

“That we’ll end up breaking each other’s hearts.” 

…

Sylvie couldn’t believe that Matt Casey was standing before her, in the Paris airport, with a sign clutched at his side that read, “Welcome to Paris.” He wore a hesitant smile on her face, and she couldn’t tell if butterflies were swarming in his stomach as they were in hers. And, was it hot in the airport? Or was it just her? She started to feel the world spinning just slightly and Emily reached out to steady her. It was in that moment that Sylvie chided herself for saying yes to being Stella’s damn bridesmaid. She knew saying yes was a mistake, and she now full-on, 100% realized that it, indeed, was because her mistake was standing in the form of one, 6’2, incredibly attractive yet scarred and damaged man. She sighed shakily before meeting Matt’s gaze once again, after she had had time to get her exploded thoughts in order. 

“Hey, Matt,” she managed to muster, rather quietly he had to lean forward slightly to hear her. She avoided any attempt to physically come in contact with him and opted for the safer approach which was to continue this incredibly awkward conversation. “What are you doing here?” she ended up hearing herself say, cringing at the way she had delivered the question. She sensed there was a bite to her words and she immediately regretted asking the question. In true Matt fashion, though, he took it in stride and answered calmly. 

“I flew in with Stella and Kelly earlier this week. Stella wanted to come in person, but she had a last minute “fashion emergency,” Casey started to explain, air-quoting “fashion emergency,” which earned a quick grin from Emily, “so she texted me asking if I could pick you girls up from the airport. I had nothing else on my agenda for the day, so I told her yes,” he finished. Emily could literally feel the awkward in the air and began making moves towards signs that, she was pretty sure read, “parking garage.” 

“Matt, is your car this way?” she asked, pointing in the faint direction of the double doors leading to the parking lot. 

“Yeah, follow me.” 

He grabbed Emily’s bag before reaching for Sylvie’s, which she let him take from her. Their hands quickly brushed, and she could feel the electricity shoot through her entire body. Good to know he still made her feel that way ten years later.

“Great,” she muttered under her breath. 

“You both look great,” he commented, turning his head over his shoulder to compliment both women. “Easy flight?” 

“Pretty easy. I managed to catch some shut eye on the plane, and Sylvie here, well, actually, I don’t know what she ended up doing, but before we both knew it, we were on the ground.”

Trying to get myself together so I wouldn’t freak out when I saw you, Sylvie thought. Matt nodded. 

“Happy to hear. We were delayed departing from O’Hare, which tacked on an extra hour or so. By the time we all deplaned, Stella and Kelly were cranky as hell, and I was ready to get to my hotel room and out of their space for a little while. When they weren’t cranky, they were practically in each other’s laps.” 

Emily chuckled and glanced back at Sylvie, who was trailing behind and seemed to be in her own world. 

“Sounds like two people in love,” she commented before continuing the walk to Matt’s car. 

“Yeah,” Matt added, rolling the suitcases steadily on the pavement outside the entrance of the airport. “I’m happy for them. They deserve each other and happiness.” He turned his head back around to briefly make eye contact with Sylvie. Emily followed his gaze and she studied the two people who clearly had so much history between them quizzically. 

“I remember telling Sylvie actually that we’d one day be standing at the alter watching the two of them exchange vows. Had no idea it’d be in Paris though.” He let out a small chuckle but Sylvie picked up on the forlorn look in Matt’s eye. She, in a thousand years, would have never expected to be back in Paris, let alone for a wedding, with Matt Casey, either. Funny how the universe worked. 

…

“How was your flight? Watch any movies you’d recommend? I made Kelly watch Bride Wars with me, you know as wedding prep.” Stella had yet to take a breath and when she did, she shoved more than half of her croissant sandwich in her mouth. Emily and Sylvie exchanged a quick grin. 

“I knew I’d like you,” Emily said, reaching for her own lunch, a bowl of the local bakery’s homemade soup. “Thanks for letting me tag along.” 

“Don’t thank me, it’s great that Sylvie has someone to keep her in line and her head in check for the wedding. Crazy things tend to ensue when she’s around you-know-who.” Sylvie waved a hand in front of her two friends. 

“Yeah, hi, I’m sitting right here and can hear everything you’re saying Stell.” 

Kidd rolled her eyes and popped a chip in her mouth. 

“C’mon, Sylvie, you know what I mean. Even when you’re not trying, you and Matt always seem to do this “love dance” around each other.” Caught off guard, Emily almost snorted out soup from her nose and looked at Sylvie surprisingly. 

“What the hell is a love dance?” she asked, her voice a little higher than normal. Sylvie rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t know, I don’t speak Kidd,” she remarked, sending a teasing glance Stella’s way. 

“It’s this dance they’ve always done, ever since college. When they’re around each other, they don’t necessarily have to say anything, it’s all in the looks. The body language. The quiet sighs . . .” She was about to continue before Sylvie threw a piece of lettuce from her salad at Stella. 

“Yeah, I think Emily gets it.” 

“Hey,” Stella protested, picking up the piece of greenery that was thrown at her and popping it in her mouth. “It’s true.” 

“I know what you mean, actually,” Emily started. Sylvie tossed her a warning glance but Foster kept talking. “I’m pretty sure they were doing that dance at the airport actually.” Stella’s eyes grew wide and she pushed her plate of food away. 

“Suddenly, I’m not hungry anymore. Spill, Brett,” she demanded, quirking an eyebrow. Sylvie laughed uneasily and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear. She rubbed her arms uncomfortably. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about Matt, how she felt about Matt, how she felt there still may be some longing desire in the depths of her heart for him, how she couldn’t imagine going through this wedding with him there, watching her, his vibrant blue eyes meeting her own, pining her down like she couldn’t move. But, alas, Stella wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, and she shrugged. 

“Yes, so maybe when I saw him, my breath hitched and my heart did about a thousand summersaults a minute. How was I supposed to know that ten years would treat him so well?” 

“Well I could’ve told you that! Afterall, I did live with the guy for several years when we first moved to Chicago. He only gets more attractive with time.” 

“I hadn’t noticed,” Sylvie muttered under her breath. She had suddenly lost her appetite and shoved her only half-eaten salad to the side. Emily decided to continue for her. 

“There were so many levels of awkward happening. But you could totally feel the UST between the two of them.” 

“UST?” Sylvie asked, turning to her friend, brow furrowed. 

“Unresolved sexual tension,” she and Stella replied in unison. Realizing they were both on the same wavelength, Stella held her hand up for Emily to high-five. 

“Yes, girl!” 

Turning her attention back to Sylvie, Emily crossed her arms over her chest, expecting Sylvie to elaborate on her previous comment. Sylvie shook her head and brought her glass of water to her lips, letting the cool liquid moisten her dry throat. 

“There is for sure nothing unresolved or sexual happening between me and Matt.” When both her friends gave her a “yeah, that’s total bullshit” glance, she continued. “He caught me off guard is all. His eyes. His hair. His body. His voice. Everything is just so different from the Matt I remember, and left, ten years ago. I told myself I’d be prepared to face him again, but I definitely wasn’t. But,” she paused, holding up her pointer finger, “let’s make one thing clear. The only thing that exists between me and Matt is an incredibly messy and damaged history. There is definitely nothing sexual lingering in the air between us. That train left the station when we were 22.” 

“But you do admit there is something unresolved right? As in, a flame that’s still burning, hell, that has been burning since you last saw each other, that has yet to be extinguished,” Stella asked, gently touching Sylvie’s clasped hands that were resting on the table. 

Sylvie considered Stella’s words and her vision began to grow hazy; were those tears? 

“Sylvie, it’s okay if there is. It’s not like your heart can get over a love, and heartbreak, that big in the time it’s been since you last saw each other.” 

“Stella, it’s been 10 years. And I’m with Jason. Don’t you think that’s reason enough to let all of the water that exists under our incredibly messy bridge be? And to let whatever is it that still maybe exists between us burn out? It’s unresolved for a reason. If we choose to even begin attempting to resolve whatever happened between us, we’ll both end up heartbroken. Again. And I can’t do that to Matt. I already hurt him once.” 

Several beats of silence fell between the girls before Stella’s phone buzzed. 

“Looks like I’m needed for some last-minute wedding prep,” she said upon scrolling through her received text. I’ll see you both at the dinner tonight?” 

Emily and Sylvie both nodded. 

“We’ll be there, girl. Can’t wait,” Emily confirmed when Sylvie remained silent. She watched Stella leave the bakery and then turned her body to face her best friend. 

“Hey, you okay?” she asked, rubbing Sylvie’s shoulder. Sylvie took a second to compose herself and met her friend’s gaze with her own solemn one. 

“I can’t help but think that coming here was a mistake. My brain told me I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Matt again, after everything that happened. And I can’t. And I’m not being fair to Jason. He deserves someone who’s 100% devoted to him. What if I can’t be that person?” 

“But you are, aren’t you? Look at you two, you live together, share a life together . . . I wouldn’t be surprised if a proposal is in your future,” Emily winked, bumping Sylvie’s shoulder. 

“Maybe. But as long as I’m here and around Matt, there will always be a part of me that will wonder what a future with him could have been like. I thought I had let the idea of a future with him go, but seeing him today made me realize that I didn’t let it go, I just tried as hard as I could to shove it out of my mind.” Emily rubbed her friend’s arm. 

“Then I hate to tell you this, but maybe the thing you need to do is the same thing you’ve tried so hard not to do for so long.” 

“Yeah,” Sylvie agreed. She, one way or another, had to work up the courage to co-exist with Matt Casey, and maybe even along the way, would find the courage she needed to face their tumultuous past. 

…

The lighting was dim in the restaurant, and Matt adjusted his polo shirt and slacks as he made his way to Kelly and Stella’s table. 

He had been dreading this damn dinner the entire day. Ever since picking Sylvie and Emily up at the airport, something inside of him had been off, and he knew exactly what, or who, he could blame for that. Sylvie. He had experienced his fair share of heartache and heartbreak, but what had happened at the foot of the Eiffel Tower between the two of them was the worst of the worst. He still remembered the way her voice broke when she told him no. The empty feeling in his stomach when he realized the woman he loved didn’t love him back in the same way. He hadn’t been able to move for a solid five minutes. He just stood there, frozen in place. It was as if he shoes had weights tied to them, preventing him from taking any steps into his future, because he thought Sylvie Brett was his future. And it had taken a damn long time for him to get his life together after their parting. He ended up following Kidd and Severide to Chicago, enrolling in the Fire Academy, and earning a spot at Firehouse 51 as a Candidate. After completing his fair share of long ass hours and physically draining shifts, the promotions began slowly, and he had found himself as the newly appointed Captain of Firehouse 51. He had decided to throw himself into his work because there was nothing like running into burning buildings and saving innocent lives to get over and nurse a broken heart. He lived and breathed work. He’d spend nights and weekends at the station. He’d dine out at Molly’s alone, sip a hard-earned beer, and when an attractive woman would approach him and initiate conversation, he’d turn her down, and retire early. To this day, Matt Casey had had only one serious relationship post the Sylvie Brett days. Callie was good to him. She was sweet when he had rescued her cat from a tree and hours later, he had found himself sitting across from an incredibly warm and beautiful woman who promised to love him with her whole heart a couple of months following their first date. Casey had promised too, but she soon realized that his heart had already been taken by someone else. Following their breakup, he blamed himself for losing her. He blamed himself for not being able to be in a relationship that made him happy, and he realized there was some truth to it. The only relationship he felt alive and truly himself had started in New York and ended in Paris. Shaking away his feelings, he strode up to the table and patted a seated Kelly on the shoulder. 

“Hey, man,” he greeted warmly. Kelly got up and embraced his friend of many years in a tight hug. 

“Casey! Glad you could make it.” 

“Me too. Place is great. Nice atmosphere.” Kelly gave him a teasing look. 

“You’ve been watching too much HGTV.” 

Matt laughed and took a seat next to his friend. He waved the server down and ordered a beer on tap before settling in for a long night. 

He was lost in his own world, his own thoughts, that he didn’t see her come in. He heard her voice from across the table, and it only took a second for his eyes to meet hers. They were made up beautifully. There was a light touch of eye shadow that complimented her crimson top, and her cheeks shone under the dim lighting. Her hair rested in waves above her shoulder and Matt was still blown away by her beauty. 

“I guess they decided to place the Best Man and Maid of Honor together, huh?” she asked, chuckling nervously before pulling out her chair to sit down. She laid her purse on the chair’s arm and helped herself to the wine menu. 

“I’ll take a glass of your rosé, please,” she told the server. A faint smile reached Matt’s lips. 

“You could never resist a rosé, could you?” he observed, teasing her slightly. Her cheeks burned under his intense gaze. 

“You know me. Something about the sweet and dry combination makes my taste buds happy.” When her glass arrived, she delicately raised it to her lips, and took a sip. Alcoholic courage was exactly what she needed. 

“It’s good to see you,” she started, once the drink had settled in her throat. “I realize I may not have said that earlier in the airport. To say I was surprised would be a lie,” she admitted, “but it was, um, is, good to see you, Matt.” 

His hooded gaze met her own and he brushed a hand through his short hair before leaning forward slightly to rest his arms on the table. “You, too.” He paused, sneaking a glance at the filling table around them, before turning his intense gaze back to Sylvie. “You seem happy,” he said, gently, in a way that made Sylvie yearn for the man even more. He always had a way of tugging on her heartstrings. 

“So,” he started, attempting to develop any sort of “normal” conversation between the two of them. They both knew, though, that nothing would ever be “normal” between them again. Having a jinxed proposal would do that to two people. “You moved back to New York after Paris?” 

Sylvie watched the wine in her glass swirl as she moved the glass on the tablecloth. She didn’t want to meet his gaze, but she knew, for his sake, she owed him that much. She owed him a conversation. One they hadn’t had since she left him. She hadn’t even tried to reach out after reestablishing her footing post-proposal. She felt bad. She really did because she felt as though the man sitting across from her was a complete stranger. Yet, she also felt that he was the one person she knew everything about, because she had let him see so much of her all those years ago. She repositioned herself in her chair and looked up at him. 

“Yeah, I settled down in the city. I knew I wanted to dive into teaching, so I stayed with family friends during the time I put out feelers for jobs. When an elementary school in Manhattan offered me a job, I moved to a high-rise flat in the city. Been there ever since,” she replied softly. Matt tilted his head to the side slightly taking in the woman, and definitely no longer young adult, he remembered, sitting in front of him. “What’s that look for?” Sylvie asked, wrinkling her nose slightly. 

“Nothing bad,” Matt comforted. “I’m just not surprised you got your life together so quickly after . . . everything. You were always someone that knew what she wanted and did whatever it took to get it. I admire that about you.” His compliment was genuine but Sylvie felt guilty deep down when Matt had mentioned “everything.” “Everything” as in the botched proposal, the many tears and years of heartbreak that followed for them both, him probably more than her, since she had reconnected with Jason shortly after she returned to New York. 

“Yeah, I was so excited to dive into the professional world and establish myself, you know? Once I moved to start work, Jason reached back out to me. His advertising firm’s located in the city, so we grabbed dinner one night, and the rest, well, is history.” She brushed her hair behind her ear and Matt watched her every movement. Sylvie swore she also saw part of his sincere expression fall when she mentioned Jason. 

“Right, Stella told me about you two. Congrats,” he said briefly, reaching to rest an arm over the empty chair next to him. He rubbed his chin to fill the awkward silence between them before Sylvie cleared her throat. 

“What about you? Captain of Firehouse 51, huh?” Casey smiled at her praise and sat up a little straighter. Despite all of the feelings Sylvie stirred within him, talking about his job was the one thing that made him incredibly proud, and no one could come between him and his work. 

“When I moved in with Kelly and Stella, they were already enrolled in the Academy. I figured I should get my life together at some point and decided to enroll myself. My plan was always to go into firefighting, but the decision came sooner than I thought. I guess I needed something consistent and reliable in my life back then, so I decided to go for it,” he replied honestly. 

Sylvie’s heart ached. Knowing she was responsible for him feeling so lost, so helpless, physically pained her. She wished she could’ve taken that moment back. Why hadn’t she said yes? You weren’t ready the annoying voice in her head answered. Still, she may not have been ready but she could’ve, had she had Matt Casey to come home to every night. 

“That’s brave. And I’m sure it’s nice to work with them.” 

“It’s got its benefits. I love my work, and I stay busy. That’s enough for me.” 

“Is there a lucky lady?” 

Sylvie suddenly had an incline to know everything about ten-years-later Matt Casey, including his romance life. She chided herself. Don’t put yourself through that torture, girl. Too late. The words had escaped her mouth and had caught Matt by surprise. What was she expecting him to say? Nope, not since you. Yep, we’re actually getting pretty serious. She promised herself that whatever he said, she wouldn’t let it affect her. She hoped to god her brain and heart were on the same wavelength. 

“Was. Callie,” he said softly, avoiding her gaze. “We dated for a couple of years, but she eventually realized I couldn’t give her what she wanted, and so we parted amicably.” He traced the rim of the glass and locked gazes with Sylvie. 

“Oh, Matt, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Wasn’t meant to be. After our breakup, I got a fish. We keep each other company.” 

“A fish?” Her lips turned into a teasing smirk, a playful glint in her eye. “I mean, I guess it makes sense. You always wanted one in college,” she reminded him. 

“Exactly. So, I bit the bullet and got a beta. His name’s Tuesday.” 

Beneath the hardened man before her, Sylvie could still see the light-hearted, fun-loving boy she had met at Columbia. Apparently, the same boy who had lived out his college fantasy and bought a fish years later. She thought that was cute. Attractive even. 

“Hey, you two,” Emily said, sliding into the chair next to Sylvie. “Sorry I’m late. The hair dryer and I had a miscommunication at the hotel earlier,” she explained. 

Matt gave her friend a once over and smiled. 

“You look great.” 

Emily punched Sylvie in the shoulder. “How could you let this one get away, Sylvie?” she teased. Sylvie took her words to heart though. How could she? Why did she? Just as she was about to answer, her cell vibrated in her purse. Glancing at her watch, Sylvie realized it was Jason WhatsApping her, and she quickly retrieved her phone. 

“Sorry, it’s J. I’ll be back in a second.” She took the napkin from her lap, placed it on the table with a manicured hand, and excused herself, making her way through a slightly larger crowd than before. Matt watched as she found a seat on the bench outside the restaurant and noticed the smile that appeared on her face. Damn he missed being the one to make her smile like that. 

“How long have they been together?” he suddenly heard himself ask Emily. She lifted her gaze from the menu and met Casey’s. 

“Who? Sylvie and Jason?” Matt nodded. 

“Over six years or so. Once they reconnected, I barely got Sylvie to myself. He had set his sights on her. Good thing her feelings for him were reciprocated.”

Emily paused trying to figure out if she should tell Casey more. “He’s good to her. Treats her well. Puts up with her crazy when she’s got too much paperwork. Surprises her every now and then with date nights and flowers. They make each other happy,” she finished. 

“Well, that’s good.” Matt grew hesitant. Hearing about the two of them together wasn’t easy but he wanted Sylvie to be happy. To be with someone who’d love her fiercely. “She deserves happiness.” 

Emily leaned forward and her voice was barely above a whisper. 

“She was happy with you, you know. I know I didn’t know her in college, but she still talks about you, a lot, even these days. You’ll always be a part of her. I don’t think two people with a history like yours could honestly ever forget and truly move on from one another.” 

Matt nodded absent mindedly. Maybe. Maybe not. It sure seemed as though Sylvie had. 

“Maybe.” He took a breath. “All I know is that I’ve been in love with her since I was 18 and I think I always will be.”


	3. Chapter 3

Author’s Note: Well, I’m back, after a veryyy long writing hiatus. I’m sorry to have been gone so long, but I sooo appreciate all of the reviews! As a filmmaker, I love to share stories with others, even if the have characters who rightfully belong to NBC, and just knowing you all are getting something out of this story makes my heart so happy. I love the creative process and this has been one of my favorite multi-fics to write. I’m telling you, these last two chapters (since this is a 5-part fic), are going to be a wild ride, and I hope you’ll ride it with me, ‘til the very end. I know some readers have expressed frustration that Sylvie ended up with Jason so quickly after ending things with Matt, so I tried to dive a bit into that explanation in this chapter. The next two chapters will have more flashbacks so you’ll be able to see what happened in more depth between the three of them. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy all of the angst this chapter brings. I legit almost started crying. Feel free to leave a review about the story or on your general feelings, as I love hearing from those of you who stop by :) Until next time. xx

…

The church was beautiful. Its gothic architecture and stone walls contrasted well against the vivid blue sky, not a single cloud to be seen. Sylvie glanced out the window of her dressing room and spotted numerous wedding guests filing into the church’s front doors. She watched as they came dressed up, ready to witness a wedding for the wedding books. The cobblestoned street was filled with bicyclists, dog walkers, and hundreds of tourists by the minute. She took a deep, calming breath before letting the translucent window curtain fall back into place. Glancing into the mirror before her, she admired her reflection: hair half up, with several strands down and wavy, framing her delicate face beautifully. She wore a light shade of eye shadow that contemplated her light rose-colored Maid of Honor dress that hit shortly below her knees. Her heels started to cause her pain, but she’d never tell Stella that. Even in college, Sylvie could never manage to wear the damn shoes for more than a couple of minutes before they started killing her feet. One formal, Stella even caught Sylvie dancing barefoot on the dance floor because her heels were causing her too much pain. Chuckling at the memory, Sylvie smoothed her dress with her delicately manicured hand and reached for the bouquet of flowers resting in front of her on the wardrobe. This was the moment. She was about to walk down the aisle. Not towards the man she had thought she’d once marry, but rather, next to said man…and her stomach was an absolute mess. She felt the tangled emotions of fear, excitement, regret, and sadness in the pit of her stomach and knew that if she didn’t start moving her feet clad in those damn heels toward the door of her dressing room, she may never make it down the aisle at all. Casting one final look at the mirror, she smiled to herself. 

“You’ve got this. Remember to breathe. Don’t trip. And most importantly, don’t get distracted by Matt Casey.” She rolled her eyes as she said that last sentence. Since when did she not get distracted by him? Even ten years later, he still did something to her, and she had no clue why he still had such a huge grasp on her heart. Their story was over. Long over. Chapters were written and had ended. This wedding was merely a time for them to catch up, that’s it. She was with Jason. She was happy. In love, even. And was that slight excitement she felt at the possibility that the next time she was in a church, it would be for her wedding to J? She smiled at the thought. Yet, while she let her imagination travel down that road, she couldn’t help but feel deep down in her heart that this was supposed to be her, ten years ago, at 22, marrying Matt. She wondered what her life would’ve looked like now being his wife. What it would look like to come home to him every night. To have him hold her tight in his arms as she fell asleep. To have him to cuddle with. To grow old with the person she thought she’d have forever with, maybe with a dog and several kids and grandkids in tow. Yet her ambitions got in the way, and she threw away that white-picket-fence-and-family fantasy, along with any chance of marrying Matt. Yet, here she was, about to walk in step with him, as she got to witness her best friend and the love of her life get married. For that, she was thankful. She was happy she was able to witness the beginning of Stella and Kelly’s story as a married couple. She knew they’d make it work. She knew they were perfect together. This was just the beginning for them, and she couldn’t wait to celebrate their married life’s milestones along the way. 

“Hey, Sylvie, you ready?” she heard a voice ask from behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know who it was; the goosebumps on her arms and the butterflies in her stomach already told her. She closed her eyes as she turned around to face him, in preparation for what she knew she’d bear witness to: a devastatingly handsome man in a tux. When she opened her eyes, she was right. Matt looked wonderful, as any Best Man would. She noticed how his hands were trembling slightly from where they remained tucked in his tux’s pockets and his hair was styled perfectly…a little messy but mainly neat and combed through. His eyes were the vibrant shade of blue she knew they always were, and the crease she loved so much near his eyes when he smiled was prominent. Her eyes lingered on his frame until they made their way to his crooked bowtie. Matt Casey still couldn’t, for the life of him, tie a bowtie. She remembered tying his bowties numerous times before every formal she took him to. She laughed slowly and started making her way towards him, her legs seeming to carry her effortlessly. 

“Your bowtie is crooked, Matt Casey. Still don’t know how to tie one, I see,” she said softly, stopping so close to his figure that she could feel his breath hitch from inside his chest. She got a whiff of his cologne and aftershave…the same damn scent that she always loved back in college, and the memories immediately came flooding back to her. She brought her hands up to the material that felt so crisp in between her fingers and worked her magic. Even though she actively attempted to avoid Casey’s gaze, she could feel it on her, observing her intensely. She was thankful he didn’t say anything though, and they let the moment happen in heavy silence, with evident lingering feelings filling the air. Once adjusted, she brushed her hands over his shoulders to rid his tux’s jacket of any dandruff and finally met his gaze. 

“Much better. You always filled out a tux nicely.” He smiled at her and brought a calloused but incredibly soft hand up to her face to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. It lingered on her cheek, and her heart started beating more quickly the second she felt his skin make contact with her own. 

“You look beautiful,” he whispered. Sylvie felt like she couldn’t move, let alone breathe. The hold he had on her was so strong, so intense, that she knew the feelings she thought had long disappeared hadn’t disappeared; they had just been shoved to the side for as long as possible. Not knowing what to do or what to say, and afraid she might do something stupid if she remained in his embrace, she moved away from his grasp and clutched the bouquet she was holding tighter to her chest.

“We better get out there.” She nodded her head in the direction of the church’s entrance just as the organ began playing the prelude. Matt simply nodded and made his way out the door, Sylvie right behind him. He stopped mere inches away from the entryway to the church’s sanctuary and reached to grab Sylvie’s hand. She let him take it and pull her towards him, so they were standing side by side, with her arm looped through his.   
“You ready for this?” he asked, leaning over so only she could hear. His breath tickled her neck. Damn, she had no idea how much she had missed this man until she didn’t have a choice but to be in the same proximity as him. 

“No, but I don’t have a choice,” she replied honestly, meeting his gaze before following his lead into the church at the start of the pre-bridal march. 

They walked slowly down the aisle, with smiles pasted to their faces, in synch, their feet doing all of the work. Matt’s arm felt stiff around hers, but she assumed it was the nerves, just like hers were off the charts. Once they neared the front of the church, they split in direction, with Matt taking a stand next to Kelly’s side. Kelly patted his friend on the back, whispered something in his ear, to which Casey nodded at, and returned his attention back to the gathered crowd just in time to see his bride enter the church. Kelly’s eyes filled with moisture as Stella began her descent down the aisle, her veil flowing behind her. Her simple wedding dress clung to all the right places and outlined her figure beautifully. Stella wore the biggest smile on her face, she literally beamed and winked at Sylvie. That’s all it took for Sylvie to feel the tears developing in her own eyes, and she was determined to not let a single one fall. She and Matt met gazes at the same time and for the first time since they had arrived in Paris, genuinely smiled at one another. Though their own history was extensive and messy, they were both able to come together to celebrate their two closest friends. Sylvie could finally breathe again because, in this moment, with her friend meeting Kelly at the alter and exchanging vows with her soon-to-be husband, everything felt right; even if in the midst of the moment, her heart was slowly breaking because she knew, deep down, she would never have this with the man she wanted it with the most. She’d let that opportunity slip through her fingers a decade ago. 

…

Spring Semester Reading Day, Freshman Year 

“I can’t believe I only have two more finals to take and then I’m officially a college sophomore! This year flew by so fast, oh my god. It feels like we just started,” Sylvie exclaimed, clutching her library books close to her chest, as she literally bounced with every step Matt realized. There was something about this girl, woman, that entranced him. Maybe it was her beauty. Maybe it was her personality. Maybe it was the fact that she was so damn bubbly all the time that being around her, he could never feel anything but happy, which he felt even now, their last night together before he left in the morning to head back home for the summer. 

“Really? This year has gone by so slow for me,” he countered, earning a punch from Sylvie in the arm. “Ouch! What was that for?” She stopped in her tracks and turned toward him, her hair blowing into her eyes from the evening breeze. 

“Why do you have to be so negative all the time? There’s nothing wrong with being positive, you know. Actually, there’s something quite freeing about being able to see the good things in life, the good things you’ve got, and smiling at them,” she said, a glint in her eye. The moment those words escaped her lips, Matt knew he was a goner. How had such an amazing, strong, sincere, beautiful woman entered his life? More importantly, one he knew he didn’t do anything to deserve and one he would try his damndest not to let go of, ever. 

“You’re right, I’ve got a lot of things in life that are good right about now,” he started, resting his hand on her arm and pulling her close to him. Their bodies fit perfectly together, and Sylvie gave him a quizzical look. 

“Um, what are you doing?” she whispered but Matt detected a slight waver in her voice. Good, she was nervous. Hell, he was too. This was the most nervous he’d been in a while. He finally had it in his reach, the girl he’d envisioned he’d find for so long standing so close to him that all he had to do was bring his lips down to capture hers in what, he hoped, to be the most amazing first kiss he’d ever have with someone. He took the books Sylvie was holding from her grasp and let them fall to the pavement. Sylvie shrieked. 

“Matt! Ruin those, and you’ll be paying my library fines.” Matt, instead of calming her down, rolled his eyes, and moved his hands to her waist, bringing her closer to him so that their foreheads were mere centimeters away from touching. 

“You’re one of them, Sylvie Brett.” 

Sylvie gave him a puzzled stare but reached over his shoulders to clasp her hands together around her neck. 

“One of what?” she questioned, but Matt felt like she already knew the answer since he felt her body lean into his. Still, he owed her an explanation, and he was happy to give it to her, if it meant finally being able to kiss the person he had wanted to share a kiss with since the first day they met at Columbia. 

“One of the good things I’ve got in my life right now. Actually, probably the best. And these last couple of months with you have been—”

Before he could finish, Sylvie stood on tiptoes and brushed her lips against his. Matt, taken aback at first and confused about what had just happened, hesitated, before giving in to the sweetest kiss he’d ever experienced. It was light and soft, just like Sylvie Brett, and so worth the wait. When he came up for air, Sylvie framed his cheek with one of her own, much smaller hands. 

“Incredible,” she whispered, laughing softly at his confused look. “These last couple of months with you have been incredible,” she said, repeating his words back to him. Matt could feel a grin spread across his face, and he couldn’t believe he had Sylvie Brett all to himself. He didn’t have to share her with anyone, and that made his heart soar. He vowed, in that moment, to make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and if that meant asking her to spend the rest of her life with him, he might just consider it. 

…

“Don’t be nervous, Matt, it’s just a speech. You’ll knock it out of the park,” Stella said, leaning close to Matt at the head table where he, Kelly, Stella, and Sylvie were all seated. “And, if we’re being honest, Kelly will probably forget all about the speech you’re about to give, given the night we’re about to have,” she added, nudging Casey who sent her a disgusted look in return. 

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Casey replied. Stella laughed off his awkward demeanor and patted his shoulder. 

“You’ll do great.”

She turned her attention back to her, now, husband, and shot Sylvie a smile for the books. Casey realized how happy Stella looked and wondered if he’d ever be that happy. She glowed and the silver band on her left ring finger complemented her engagement ring nicely. He still couldn’t believe that she was married to Kelly, the same guy who Casey had teased back in college about never being ready to settle down. Shows how much I know, Casey thought to himself. In all the years he and Severide had been friends, he never would have guessed he’d be the first one married off. Actually, come to think of it, he and Severide had always said it’d be Jason, but after his falling out with Jason, he rarely knew what his former buddy was up to, besides the fact that he and Sylvie were together. He still tried wrapping his head around that and failed terribly. How had that happened? Was she truly happy? Was the next wedding on the docket hers? Shaking his head from all thoughts about Sylvie, he took off his tux’s jacket and tapped his flute glass with a fork. 

“Excuse me, everyone,” he started but immediately stopped when he noticed all heads turn his way, including Brett’s whose eyes met his own. She gave him a faint smile, which gave him the encouragement he needed to continue talking, 

“I know we’re all enjoying our time celebrating, now, Mr. and Mrs. Kelly Severide, but it’s that time of the evening…where the Best Man delivers his speech,” Casey finished, rising from the table and walking in front of it. He loosened his bowtie and brushed one hand through his hair while the other held the microphone close to his mouth. Finding Severide in front of him, he started talking. 

“Man, when did you get so old?” he asked, directing his question towards Kelly, who flicked him off and the audience released a chuckle. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, since I’m technically older than you by 3 days, but still, who would have thought you’d be the first one, of the two of us, to be married?” 

Casey paused, adjusting his microphone, and walked towards Brett, so he could face the rest of the audience. He acknowledged Sylvie’s confused eyes with a nod before taking a stand behind her so he was facing the crowd. 

“What many of you don’t know is that the minute Kelly saw Kidd from across the commons, he turned to me and said, “that’s her, that’s the one.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but Kelly got a funny, lopsided grin on his face, and I knew that my best buddy was a goner. Stella Kidd had gotten to him, and he was determined to make her, his. Well, turns out he succeeded in that pretty well, since we’re all here today, and I couldn’t be happier for them.” 

Matt paused to read the room, to see if he should stop or continue talking, and with a thumbs up from Emily, who was seated directly across from his gaze, he continued. 

“When I hear people say they were college sweethearts, I’m skeptical. Can two people who met in college, when they’re so young, actually make things work and end up together ten years later? Well, in Stella and Kelly’s case, they can. They made it work and they’ll always make it work. The two of them complement each other so well, and who knows how they work together and sleep together, but they do, and it’s been so great to watch the love you have for each other grow and blossom into a lifelong commitment to one another.” 

Matt paused and took a breath before he delivered his last several words. “I don’t know what the future holds for you two, but I know you two will ground it in love, respect, and gratitude for one another. Your commitment to one another and your perseverance to making this relationship, and now marriage, work is admirable and inspiring. And maybe, just maybe, Kelly will be standing up here, delivering his Best Man speech at my wedding, but in the meantime, let’s all raise a glass and toast the happy couple.” Lifting his own glass, Matt finished, “to Kelly and Stella, congratulations.” 

As he concluded his toast, he heard glasses clanking one another and noticed a presence by his side out of the corner of his eye. Kelly turned to him and extended a hand, wrapping Matt up in a full-on bro-hug. 

“Almost had me crying, man.” 

“That was my goal,” Matt replied cheekily, patting Kelly’s shoulder. “Seriously, congrats. I’m really happy for you and Kidd.” 

“Glad you could make it, even with Sylvie being here. I know it’s been hard, but it wouldn’t have been the same without you,” Severide admitted, drawing Casey close. “And, Casey, I think you’ve still got a shot.” Kelly’s words caught Matt off guard, and before he could completely comprehend what Kelly had meant, his friend had already disappeared onto the dance floor with Stella on his heels. When a slow song came over the speakers, he watched as the happy couple reached for each other at the same time and began swaying to the music that filled his ears. The instrumental piece climaxed at the moment Kelly dipped Stella and the crowed let out a series of “awws” and a round of applause. Matt was about to bring the remaining amount of the liquid that was in his flute glass to his lips when he heard someone clear her throat behind him. He turned around to see Sylvie standing before him, the late-afternoon light casting a beautiful glow around her. Strands of hair had escaped her hairdo from the wedding and now cascaded down to her shoulders beautifully. He swore every time he saw her, Sylvie grew more beautiful. She had her own flute glass in hand and smiled up at him. 

“Nice speech. Mr. Keener’s Public Speaking class must’ve stuck with you,” she teased. He met her playful expression with one of his own. 

“Something like that.” The two held each other’s gazes for a moment as the music carried on around them, and suddenly, without realizing what was happening, Sylvie had placed her glass on the table and was reaching out to grab Matt’s hand. 

“Dance with me?” she asked, barely above a whisper. 

Matt, taken aback by Sylvie’s boldness, nodded and let her lead him to the corner of the dance floor, where he managed to forge ample space for the two of them. Instead of circling around each other, which he had felt they’d been doing since the moment Sylvie had landed in Paris, they held each other tightly, as his hands made their way to rest around her wait. Sylvie brought her arms around his neck and looked at him intensely, as though she was trying to read his expression, which, of course, he’d try his hardest not to let her do, even though he was pretty sure it was written all over his face. The damn woman. Even without words, she made him feel so many things all at once. And dancing with her, so closely, so intimately, didn’t help in any way, whatsoever. 

“What did Kelly whisper to you up at the alter?” she suddenly asked, her soft voice breaking through his run-away thoughts. 

“Hmm?” he asked, pretending not to have heard her question.

“As soon as you made it next to Kelly, he whispered something to you. What was it?” she prodded.

Matt thought through if it was right to admit what Kelly had actually told him or if he should make up a lie about what Kelly had said. He knew the conversation he was about to have with Sylvie once he admitted what Kelly had said was bound to happen at some point, and maybe it would lead to proper closure, so with that information in mind, Matt replied, 

“This could’ve been you and Brett.” It was a simple sentence that caught Sylvie off guard; he could see it in her face and in her eyes; he could feel it in his hand as hers grew tense and stilled for just a moment. Matt added, “hey, you were the one who asked.” 

He saw her take a grounding breath, before she finally relaxed again in his embrace and responded. 

“You’re right, I did. My curiosity got the better of me, I guess.” 

They danced in silence for several more moments, and he felt Sylvie’s head making its way to resting on his shoulder. He knew he should stop this, this moment happening between them. She had a boyfriend for crying out loud, yet something felt so real, so raw, so right with her, in this moment, in his arms. Maybe it was because it felt as though this was the two of them, celebrating their wedding. 

“He’s not wrong,” Matt started, taken aback by his own words. “I mean, had you said yes,” he finished, cringing at the way his voice shook and how he had opened old wounds that didn’t need to be opened in the first place. 

“Do you hate me?” he heard Sylvie barely whisper to him.

Looking down at the woman in his arms, he noticed how vulnerable and small she was. And how much her question hurt him. It felt like a stab to his chest. Had she thought he had hated her all of this time? Just thinking that Sylvie potentially thought that ripped him to shreds, and he couldn’t control his impulse when his hands reached up to cup her face. They stopped swaying, and even though couples swayed around them, their world stood incredibly still. 

“I could never hate you,” Casey answered, simply. He still held her face in his own, and he saw a tear beginning to roll down her cheek. He wiped it with the pad of his thumb, never wanting to let go of the woman he currently held in his arms. He didn’t want to let go now, and he shouldn’t have let go ten years ago. 

“You should. Matt, I ruined what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. I left you seconds after you proposed, alone.” 

Casey let her words sink in and then chuckled. 

“Believe me, I know. Being left after you’ve proposed by the woman of your dreams is not something you forget easily.” Sylvie hid her face in her hands, and Casey grasped her hands in his, so he was able to see her face, in the now fading light.

“Just tell me one thing…” he started, “are you happy? I mean…” Matt paused, trying to find the right wording, “does he make you happy? Happier than I could have made you?” 

Sylvie’s eyes immediately flew to his and he could see the sadness wash over her features. 

“Matt,” she started, resting her hands on-top of his, which still cupped her face. “Don’t you dare think that me being with Jason means he makes me happier than you did.”   
She sighed and motioned her head toward the exit of the dance floor. He followed her lead and they made their way outside the reception venue towards the lake that bordered the property. Staring into the lake’s crystal-clear water, Matt saw his and Sylvie’s reflection staring back at him. Sylvie couldn’t meet his gaze, even in the water’s reflection, and she looked at her painted toenails instead. 

“When I said no to a future with you, it’s because I thought I knew that’s what I wanted. A life of teaching in the Big Apple, with a high-rise flat and zero commitments. I was young. I was naïve. I cared about starting my career and reaching my ambitions. That’s all I had pictured for myself after graduation and what I clung on to. It was a never a case of saying no to you because I knew you couldn’t make me happy.” 

Sylvie paused and took a seat down on the grass, stretching her legs out so they rested in the grass. Matt mirrored her movement and took a seat next to her, leaning back and extending his arms behind him.

“That was the problem. Matt, you made me so happy. You made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and if I had said yes to you, I would have followed you anywhere and sacrificed my own dreams and ambitions to start a life with you,” she finished. 

Matt inhaled and rubbed a hand through his hair. He was grateful for this conversation but didn’t realize how damn hard it would be. Sylvie had been the literal best thing to have happened to him, and now talking to her about their murky past was more terrifying to him than running into burning buildings, which is what he did for a living. He turned his body to face hers and picked up a blade of grass, picking away at it, bit by bit. 

“I wouldn’t have let you do that, Sylvie. We could’ve moved to New York. You could have started teaching. I would’ve been able to find my way. All that mattered was that we’d be together and happy. We’d be able to start a life together because that’s all I wanted.” 

Matt took a risk and searched for Sylvie’s eyes, which had tears slowly starting to roll down her cheeks. 

“I know. I mean, I didn’t know that then, but I know that now. I hate myself for hurting you the way I did. For walking away from you when we had such a promising future ahead of us. But I did. And we can’t erase that fact. And I ended up reconnecting with Jason, not because I was ready to move on, but because he was in New York when I needed a friend, when I felt so completely lost and heartbroken without you, when I felt I didn’t have anyone in my corner, when I needed a shoulder to cry on to get me through the night when I’d wake up thinking about you, because, Matt, I did. More than you know. I still do. But we can’t go back to ten years ago, we have to start looking toward our futures and what they look like now, with neither of us in each other’s lives anymore. Mine has Jason in it. He’s able to love me and support me. He treats me well and even wants a family someday. I don’t know what possessed him to reach out to me to begin with when he saw I was back in New York, but he did. And now, he’s what I have to look forward to. He’s my future.”

Matt stayed silent, not knowing what to say, as he allowed Sylvie’s words to sink in. They hurt like shit. He didn’t want to lie to himself. But he also began to realize that maybe letting go of her was the healthiest thing to do, was the right thing to do. They had had something amazing once. They still had it, he could feel it. Yet, she had already moved on, and though he tried and failed once, who says he’d fail again? Matt felt he owed it to Sylvie to try and move on from her, for her sake. She deserved happiness. And Jason made her happy. That’s all Matt ever wanted for her. He sighed and reached for Sylvie’s hands, bringing them both to their feet. He inched closer to her once they were standing, so that they were inches apart, before he framed her face with his strong palms. 

“If that’s what you want, Sylvie, to focus on your future and your life with Jason, I’ll accept that. But if any part of you thinks we’d be able to have a future together, then tell me. Tell me to move to New York. To say goodbye to Firehouse 51 and find a job at the NYFD. To be the husband I know I can be for you and the one you deserve.” 

He saw her searching his face, as if the answer was evident on his forehead, and before he knew what she was doing, he felt her lips press tightly to his. He stepped closer to her and he felt their kiss deepen. It was sweet yet salty at the same time because of Sylvie’s tears. He felt her fingers make their way through his hair, and suddenly he couldn’t stop himself. His hands took over and he pressed her firmly to him. He didn’t know what this meant, if anything, but all Matt Casey knew was that, in the ten years since he had last seen her, it felt as right kissing her as it did the very first time they kissed at Columbia. When Sylvie broke away, it was just for a split second, as she whispered, “no more talking. Just this. Just us. Just for tonight.”


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Wow, so it's been a hot sec since I last wrote. I'm so sorry. Life got busy, then I was uninspired for the longest time. Buuut with Chicago Fire S9 in production and the cute video that Wolf Entertainment posted of Jesse and Torrey, I was re-inspired, so violà, I present the penultimate chapter! Several things I want to mention: I'm sorry if I disappoint or anger anyone with the whole "the morning after" scene. I wanted to write one but realize some may not be happy with the direction it went. Another note: I'm *not* a doctor (instead, a creative just trying to make her way in the world), so I apologize if any of the things that I wrote are inconsistent with what happens in real life. I won't give any spoilers, but I hope you have a tissue box handy. I almost cried writing this chapter. I promise I won't be gone for as long as I was this time 'round, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts! I really love getting to connect with others who enjoy CF and Brett/Casey as much as I do! Anyway, I'll stop rambling now so you can get to reading. Grateful for y'all! xx 

…

The morning light filtered through the room's off-white curtains, causing Matt to stir at the light's sudden appearance in the darkened room. He didn't know what time it was, let alone the day and what had happened the previous evening, but turning over on his back to glance at the bedside clock, all of the memories came flooding back to him. His heart began to race just thinking about her lips on his, her soft skin against his as they had made love. Though it wasn't their first time sharing a passionate night together, something about it felt different, more intimate, more sacred, maybe because it had been such a damn long time since he had held Sylvie in his arms like the way he had last night, saying everything he wanted to say to her with his hands, kisses, and touch. It had felt perfect, and he could already feel the dread creeping into his chest as he thought about the implications of what they had done. He knew she was with Jason, yes, but he also knew if Sylvie didn't have feelings for him, then she wouldn't have made love to him the way she had. She made him feel alive, complete . . . happy, something that he hadn't felt in ages. Turning over to rest on his other side, he tucked an arm under his pillow and reached his hand to gently brush away the hair that had fallen from behind Sylvie's ear. He let the sound of her slow breathing calm him, because he knew that when she woke up, they'd have to face reality once again, and he wasn't quite sure his heart would be able to handle the heartbreak he knew was already on the horizon.

"Matt Casey, I can practically feel you thinking," Sylvie murmured with her eyes still closed but a smirk on her face. Casey smiled and stroked her cheek.

"Not thinking, just remembering," he replied softly.

"Remembering what?" she asked, slowly opening one eye to meet Matt's intense gaze. His hair was disheveled, and she always found it incredibly sexy. Somehow, give the man a pillow, and it did wonders. He moved his hand away from her cheek and rested it on the curve of her hip that was outlined by the satin sheets.

"Last night. The day we graduated. Paris ten years ago. Everything, Sylvie." He exhaled a sigh, but he didn't know what it was of. A sigh of frustration? Of sadness? Of a longing to go back to the time when it seemed like he and Sylvie had the world at their fingertips. When it seemed like he was the one that she would return home to from Paris, and not Jason.

Sylvie was quiet for a second as she let Matt's words sink in. She suddenly began to tense under his touch and moved to sit up in bed, bringing the sheets up to her chin, allowing the soft fabric to make contact with her skin. She closed her eyes for a brief second, took a composing breath, and turned to face Matt. He, too, was now sitting up, resting his head against the bed frame, however, he didn't even try to cover his naked torso. Though she desperately tried not run her gaze down his toned body and notice the abs that were on full display above the sheet, she failed. She had to admit, the physical attraction she had to Matt Casey hadn't disappeared; if anything, it had only grown more intense as the years passed. Lord help her. She needed all of the help she could get to stay concentrated and not distracted by the man who still made her heart flutter with so many feelings she didn't know she still had.

"So, about last night," she started, noticing that Casey had tensed up instantly at the sound of the words no guy ever wanted to hear. "It's obvious that what we had before hasn't gone away, but Matt, I can't do this. I'm with Jason. I love Jason. I'm sorry, I guess I just got wrapped up in the moment and seeing you again and the wedding . . ." She cringed when she heard herself starting to ramble, a tendency she seemed to only do around Matt, who made her nervous as hell, and ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back off her face before searching Matt's face for any indication of what he was feeling. He didn't meet her gaze and, instead, looked outside at the view of Paris that lay just beyond the hotel room.

"Bullshit," he said bluntly, suddenly turning to face her. His words caught Sylvie by surprise and she did a double-take. He was usually so even-tempered, calm, collected, and not once had Sylvie ever heard him curse, at least not to her recollection. He rubbed his hand down his face in the hopes to get a grip and turned towards her again, more even-tempered this time.

"You and I both know that last night was the most real thing that has happened for both of us in a long time."

His blue eyes bore into her own, and Sylvie could feel the tears starting to form. Damn him for making her feel this way, for making her second-guess everything she had with Jason, for making her think there was hope and a future for them, a future she robbed them from having a decade ago. She took a second to collect herself and realizing that she needed to put more than a few inches worth of distance between the two of them, she quickly got up and began searching for her clothes that had been strewn around the room.

"Maybe so, but that doesn't change the fact that last night was a mistake. You're going back to Chicago, where your life is. I'm going back to New York, where mine is. Maybe there was once a time when our lives could have been one in the same, but that time has passed. I'll cherish the memories that we made together and have of each other from our time at Columbia, but we live in two different worlds now, Matt."

Sylvie could hear her voice on the cusp of breaking and she quickly slipped on her dress and shoes so she could make a mad dash out before Matt saw the enormous number of tears that threatened to roll down her face. She knew she was breaking his heart all over again, and she was lying to herself if she didn't feel hers breaking just a little bit as well, but she did what she was good at when it came to anything Matt Casey: she ran away, just like she did in Paris ten years ago and just like she was doing now. She saw Matt swing his legs around until his feet touched the hardwood floor, and she followed his steps as they made their way closer to her. No matter how hard she tried to move her own two feet, they felt like they were glued to the floor, and she couldn't move. Christ, she could barely breathe. He approached her slowly and cupped her face with his strong hands.

"I meant every word that I said yesterday," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, "I'll come to New York and resign from Firehouse 51. Sylvie, all you have to do is tell me you want me."

She let her own hands come up to rest on top of his and she closed her eyes. Her voice was barely above a whisper,

"Matt, I can't. I'm sorry," and before he had time to respond, he felt her touch disappear and heard the door close behind her. He stood in the empty room that suddenly felt a lot larger than it had seconds ago. He let himself get swallowed up in its emptiness and felt nothing but hallow. Déjà vu.

…

Night Before Graduation, Senior Year

"Dude, that's fucking huge," Kelly observed, leaning over Casey's shoulder to peer at the beautiful diamond ring that was situated perfectly in the leather jewelry box Matt held. "How much did that cost you?"

Matt rolled his eyes at Kelly's remarks and slipped the box back into the pocket of his pants.

"All four years' worth of tutoring money. And then some," Matt replied standing up from the bleachers they were seated on. He leaned back against the railing, admiring the view one last time of Columbia's baseball stands. He, Kelly, and once upon a time, Jason, had made some great memories where they were spending their last night as undergrads, and it was here, too, where Matt had told Sylvie he loved her for the first time. Thinking back to the first moment he saw her and reflecting on how far they'd come in the three and a half years he couldn't help the lopsided grin that appeared on his face. He knew as soon as he laid his eyes on her that Sylvie was it. His person. The woman he was going to ask to spend the rest of his life with. He tilted his head back and glanced up at the stars that were starting to fill the night sky.

"Can you believe we'll be done with this place, tomorrow?" he asked quietly, still observing the immensity that was outer space. He heard Kelly chuckle as a response to his question and replied honestly.

"I wasn't quite sure I'd make it out of here on time with the credits I needed. Yet, somehow, I did."

Casey let out a chuckle and playfully punched Kelly in the shoulder.

"Same, dude. Somehow you got your shit together, and look at you, you'll be off to Chicago day after next. You excited?"

Kelly focused on the metal texture of the bleachers, noticing how long its crevices seemed to span. He didn't want to let on to Casey that if he looked his friend in the eye, he might, just might, let a tear or two slip down his face. Casey would give him shit for days if he caught him crying. He finally looked back up at his friend, square in the eye.

"Hell yeah. I've been working toward CFD for a long ass time."

Ever since Matt had met him, Kelly had always set his sights on enrolling in the Academy that was a part of the Chicago Fire Department. It ran in Severide's family, first his grandfather, then his father, now his best friend. Sometimes Casey even considered himself if that's the route he wanted to take, but as long as Sylvie was in the picture, he'd go anywhere. All he needed was for her to be in his life, and he could make anything look. Kelly smirked when he saw Matt break out into another idiotic grin and shoved his friend's shoulder with his own.

"You got it bad," he teased. Matt shrugged and kicked his legs out, resting one ankle over the other.

"Never in a million years had I planned to meet the love of my life in college, but I did. Now I can't even imagine what life would be like without her. She took me by surprise, man," Matt responded, brushing a hand through his grown-out hair. "But it was the best damn surprise yet."

Reaching down for their beers, Kelly handed Matt his Budweiser before bringing his own up to his lips. Letting the cool liquid moisten his throat, he clinked his bottle with Matt's.

"Cheers, man. Here's to new chapters beginning, yours one of domesticity and mine one of adventure." Matt grinned at his friend who had been by his side since day one and welcomed the comfortable silence that soon filled the air.

"Cheers. Here's to the best ones yet."

…

PRESENT DAY

FOUR WEEKS LATER

…

Sylvie adjusted her glasses, reached for her wine glass, and gave her Instagram one last scroll. She couldn't help but smile at all of the pictures Stella had posted from her and Kelly's honeymoon. They had decided to stay in Paris to explore its neighboring cities, and every night seemed to consist of wine, dancing, and delicious food.

After returning home herself, she was able to resume her routine pretty quickly and with little transition. Jet lag was a bitch but seeing Jason again had warmed Sylvie's heart, though she actively tried to avoid the unwelcome feeling in the pit of her stomach that surfaced every time Jason hugged her, cuddled with her, even kissed her. Though they lived together, she felt so physically and emotionally distant from him. Of course, Jason made her happy, and he'd lasso the damn moon for her if he knew she wanted it, but maybe that was the problem. Maybe being with Jason was too happy for her. Maybe Jason was the safety net Sylvie had clung to upon returning home from Paris, broken engagement and all. Maybe reconnecting with Jason was what Sylvie had been looking for when she needed some newfound clarity in her life, a relationship where there would be no surprises, where she could anticipate their next steps, where she could feel happy and content and safe; no surprises, no hard conversations, no room for hurt. Yet, reflecting on the night she spent with Matt, it suddenly dawned on her that that's what she needed, yearned for, a life with someone that wasn't safe; a life filled with physical and raw emotion and passion. A life where she didn't know what emotion she'd feel next or where they would lead, but one that promised to be filled with heartfelt love and joy for one another.

She leaned her head against the back of the couch, letting her hair fall from its messy ponytail and sighed. When had life gotten so confusing? When had she begun to question everything she had with Jason? She could feel the love she still had for J, deep down, but she began to question if that was enough. Could Jason make her feel alive the way Matt had? Did?

"Get a grip, Sylvie," she scoffed at herself, releasing a frustrated sigh. Though she had only seen Matt for a brief amount of time, he had been right that morning after in the hotel room; the night they had spent together had been the most real thing both of them had felt in a long time. He knew it. Hell, he even called her out when she didn't want to acknowledge it to herself. And now, here they were, right back where they started, living two separate lives, in two different cities; only this time was different. They both had the newfound knowledge that what once existed between them hadn't burnt out ten years ago; it was still aflame yet slowly burning, until that night when they had come together and everything had exploded. Overcome with emotions she didn't know how to process or feel, she slipped off her glasses, threw them onto the coffee table her feet were propped up on and closed her eyes. If she gave any more thought to what had happened in Paris, she wouldn't have any energy left in her to give to her job, her friends, and most importantly, Jason. For his sake, she knew she had to try and move on. She finished the last of the wine in her glass before letting the heaviness of sleep overcome her. Why was it though that when she closed her eyes, all she could see was Matt Casey's face right before she had left him, again?

…

Her phone's constant vibrating stirred Jason awake. He, foggily, glanced at the clock on their bedside table; 3:30 am. Grunting, he nudged Sylvie's warm body.

"Your phone," was all he could muster before dozing off once more.

Taking a moment or two to process what Jason had said, Sylvie lifted her head from her pillow and reached for her phone. Its brightness, though set on the lowest setting, was jarring to her eyes, and she entered her passcode to see what her notifications. She had both missed calls and text messages from Kelly and Stella, which was pretty out of the ordinary for them, all ranging from the time she ended up moving from the couch to her bed and now. Retrieving her slippers from the side of her bed, she pulled a bathrobe on and made her way to the hallway, closing their bedroom door behind her so she wouldn't wake Jason. She took a quick pass at their text messages, which all consisted of variations of "SOS, emergency, call me," before listening to the rather frantic voicemails that Stella and Kelly both left her. She padded into the kitchen, helped herself to the glass of water, and then mentally prepared herself for what she was about to hear as she dialed Stella's number.

"Sylvie," she heard Stella reply, instantly, a slight tremor in her voice. "I'm so sorry if our messages woke you."

Still waking up, Sylvie shook her head as if Stella were standing right across from her, and brushed her friend off.

"I've always been a heavy sleeper. Sorry I didn't call you back sooner. What's going on, Stel? It's 3:45 in the morning."

Stella didn't answer right away but Sylvie could hear faint background noises of, were those ambulance sirens? She heard people shuffling in the background too and pieced together instantly that Kidd and Severide weren't at the firehouse. Suddenly her entire body tensed and Sylvie felt herself begin to grow sick to her stomach.

"Are you and Kelly at the hospital?" Sylvie asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't want to ask the question, afraid of Stella's response, but she knew she had to for her own sanity. A thought suddenly dawned on her: was Matt in trouble? Had something happened?

"Oh my god, did something happen to Matt? Is he okay?"

She hated how much her voice wavered, but the thought of something happening to him was something Sylvie wasn't willing to entertain. She closed her eyes and prayed Kidd was about to give her good news.

"There's been an accident," Stella started, her voice small and distant. Sylvie's heart sank and she felt faith. God no. This was her worst nightmare coming to life.

"What happened?" was all she had the strength to get out before crashing down on the couch, a pillow hugged tightly to her chest. She could already feel the tears forming.

"It was a routine call, and we rolled out around 10 pm. A structural fire. It looked like we were going to clear everyone to safety until the building just caved in. Kelly and I were about to do one final sweep inside until it collapsed, right in front of our eyes. Casey wasn't with us; he was inside trying to rescue our final civilian who hadn't yet made it out."

Kidd could hear Sylvie's soft whimpers over the other end of the phone line and wished she could wrap her friend in a tight hug.

"Once we put out the fire, we went back in to locate Casey and the civilian. Both were knocked unconscious and rushed to Med. Kelly and I are still here awaiting updates about Casey's condition. The civilian didn't make it," Stella finished.

Sylvie remained silent as she let Kidd's news hit her. She felt numb, like she couldn't breathe. She never in a million years would have pictured this as the way she'd lose Matt Casey. He's not gone yet. Summoning up the courage to ask, she cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she hugged the pillow more firmly.

"How is he?"

"Not good. Multiple broken bones and several lacerations. He went into surgery as soon as we arrived but the doctors have placed him in a medically induced coma because of the extent of his injuries and the swelling in his brain." Stella paused briefly before finally admitting, "they're not sure if he'll make it."

At her words, Sylvie lost it and broke down sobbing. How was it that she had gone ten years without Matt Casey in her life and just when they had finally rekindled their passion, had finally realized their love hadn't faded, he was about to be taken from her? Slow to process all the news, the only thing she could do was cry. She let the tears fall, not evening trying to be quiet as she was before, and let the pain, hurt, sadness wash over her entire body.

"I'm so sorry, Sylvie. I wish I could be there to hug you. To tell you everything's going to be okay. Matt's strong, and he'll get through this. He has to."

Sniffing and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Sylvie tried like hell to compose a response.

"Is he Stella? Is anyone strong enough to overcome a building collapsing on them?" Silence filled the opposite line before Sylvie heard Stella murmur something to, who she presumed to be Kelly.

"Hey, the doctor's come back out with another update. I'll keep you posted. If it were me, I'd hop on a plane as soon as possible to get here, so Casey can wake up to you by his side. I know your life is with Jason, but he needs you, Sylvie. He's always needed you. And I know, deep down, you know that you've always needed him."

With her final words hitting her hard, Sylvie hung up and processed what her next move should be. Should she go? What if Casey didn't even wake up? What if he never knew she was there to begin with? She scrubbed her hands down her face, hoping she'd get a grip before returning to Jason. Suddenly, she heard movement from behind her, and she turned around, casting a glance at Jason, who was leaning against the kitchen counter. She released a small squeak.

"J! How long have you been standing there?"

She turned more fully around now and watched Jason as he neared closer to her, coming to stand in front of the couch. He squatted down so that he was eye level with Sylvie and tried to meet her gaze. His large hand came up to cup her cheek as his thumb gently wipes away her wet tears.

"Babe, what happened?" he asked, ever so tenderly. Sylvie's heart was already quickly breaking, but hearing Jason ask that question with such concern and emotion made her heart continue to shatter. She didn't deserve this amazing man, especially after the night had and Casey had had, yet, here he was, still with her, loyal and true. He was smart, funny, fun, attractive, successful, but Sylvie was realizing he wasn't for her. There was a time when she thought he was for her, hell, she thought he was her person since the day they reconnected in New York all those years ago, but after seeing Matt and living through the moment she knew she'd always dread if she were romantically involved with him just now, she knew he was her person. Always was, always would be. Sylvie Brett was just so damn stubborn that she'd talk herself into believing anything, except that. 

She leaned into Jason's embrace, reveling in his warm and careful touch before meeting his gaze. Fidgeting with the phone that was still in her hand, she took a steadying breath.

"That was Stella. She and Severide are at the hospital because there was an accident. Matt, um, had to undergo surgery and is in a medically induced coma because of the injuries he's suffered from." Her voice was so quiet Jason had to strain to hear what she had just said. But once recognition crossed his face at the severity of what Sylvie had just shared with him, he made his way over to the couch and sat down next to her. She turned to face forward again and rested her head on his shoulder.

"J, I need to go, I need to be there with him. With Stella and Kelly too," she admitted hesitantly, not knowing what his reply would be. Glancing up at the man beside her, she took in his features: his tired eyes, his messy hair, his thrown-on pajama pants and shirt. She couldn't bear to look at him, not when she knew she was bound to break his heart the moment she told him about her time in Paris with Matt. That's a conversation for another time, she scolded herself. She touched his hands that were resting calmly in his lap and let him process what she was saying. At a time like this, when they were both so vulnerable, as Matt was his friend too, she didn't want to push him for an answer to her statement. They sat in quiet for far too long and listened to the clock slowly tick away, the seconds becoming minutes. Jason finally stirred and heaved in a sigh himself.

"You're right, you do. I would go myself but we fell out of touch so long ago, I'm not sure he'd even want me there." She interlaced her fingers with his own, bringing his hand to her lips to place a gentle kiss on his soft skin.

"Thank you. I promise I'll call you when I can."

…

Sylvie hailed a cab as soon as she arrived at O'Hare's exit and prayed she'd get to Chicago Med not too long after, given the crazy nature of the city. Lucking out and grabbing a plane ticket for an early morning flight into Chicago, she's arrived at Chicago Med only a couple of hours after Stella had called her. She pulled out her phone and sent Jason a quick text.

Made it. Will send updates when I know more.

She sent the message off and when she glanced back up, she noticed Med's skyscraper building in front of her. She gathered her belongings, only a small duffel and her purse, before thanking her cab driver and opening the door. She let the cool air hit her and couldn't believe she was in Chicago, the place where Matt had lived most of his adult life, a life she hoped wasn't ending anytime soon. She tried to picture what Casey's life had looked like in Chicago but it was hard to. Had he been happy? Had he wished they had stayed in touch? With questions swirling around in her mind, she was only haphazardly was paying attention and found the area of Med's interior where she was able to request information on a patient.

"Hi, my name is Sylvie Brett, and I'm here to see someone who was brought to Med last night; well, actually, this morning. Casey, Matt Casey."

She tried to stay as composed as possible but the woman behind the counter could sense that she was off. She typed something on the keyboard, clicked around for a second or two, and then met Sylvie's gaze.

"He's in recovery on the fourth floor. He hasn't undergone any more surgeries, but the doctors' notes I see here indicate there's been no change in his status."

Sylvie's stomach dropped at hearing the news Casey hadn't improved at all since the last time she had spoken to Stella. She didn't think it was likely, but she had hoped he would have improved some.

"Thanks for the information. Is it alright if I go to his room?"

The nurse glanced at a clipboard beside her computer and nodded.

"Looks like he's permitted to have visitors for several hours at a time. The last people to come in were an S. Kidd and a K. Severide?" the nurse questioned. Though she was at Med and under such dire circumstances, Sylvie let out a small smile. It was reassuring to know that Matt had Kidd and Severide always looking out for him.

"Stella and Kelly. They know Matt well. We actually all went to Columbia together," Sylvie explained.

The nurse returned a soft smile and motioned for her to go ahead. Sylvie aggressively hit the button in the elevator that would take her to the fourth floor and grew frustrated when she had to wait for an additional second or two before the elevator's doors closed. She wanted to get to Matt's room as soon as she could. When she heard the ding and the doors opened, she rushed out and took note of the names on each of the medical bays. She passed by several until she spotted the name "Casey" and glanced inside the room. The curtains had been drawn and the early morning sunshine was cascading a soft glow on Matt's features. He looked fragile and frail, hooked up to multiple machines, and multiple limbs were wrapped in gauze and casts. Sylvie inhaled, startled, at just how breakable Matt looked, and set her duffle down on a chair in the corner of the room. She heard the monitor beeping steadily as it tracked Matt's heartbeat and she brushed her hair away from her face. She had to keep it together, for him. Matt deserved to have someone remain strong for him, and Sylvie was determined to be that person.

She moved another chair close to his hospital bed and took a seat, not knowing exactly what to say or do. She had never sat with someone in this way before, but somehow, her connection to Matt seemed stronger than ever before. Maybe it was because it got her thinking about all of the history they had together. Maybe it was because she was remembering that night they had spent together in Paris, in the soft sheets of the hotel's bed. She remembered his lips grazing the skin on her shoulder as they made their way up her neck to her lips, where he planted soft kisses. She remembered how he ran his hands through her hair, and how good it felt to be so attached to him again, more closely, more intimately this time than the times they had made love in college. She let a tear slip down her cheek and attempted to steady her breathing before grabbing his hand and clutching it in her own. His hand looked worn from the IV, yet it still felt just as it had four weeks prior, soft, gentle, and like home.

"Hey, Matt," she started, barely above a whisper. She had no idea if he was able to hear her, but she couldn't just sit there and say nothing.

"I don't know where to begin," she continued, bringing his hand close to her chest, hoping that maybe he could feel her heart beating rhythmically. "I guess I should start by saying I'm sorry."

She let out a sad chuckle as she thought about how many times she had said that to him over the years.

"I guess that's my go-to phrase with you because I have so much to apologize for. I'm sorry for ten years ago when you poured your heart out to me and I wasn't ready. I'm sorry that I ended up moving to New York and beginning a life with Jason while you were trying to start a life somewhere else, a life without me in it. I'm sorry for the way I left you just a few weeks ago after such an amazing night together," she paused to take a breath and reflect on what she wanted to say next.

"You were right. That night was the most real thing that has happened to me in such a long time. It reminded me of why we were together in the first place. There was always so much passion and love between us, even during the early stages of our relationship in college. You always knew how to break down my walls and make me feel beautiful. You treated me like I was the only girl in the world you saw, and I took that for granted. I had my sights set on something bigger, a career for myself, that I didn't see that the thing I wanted most was right in front of me. Yeah, I admit, this probably sounds like I rehearsed something right out of a Hallmark movie, but it's true, Matt. You were my one good thing and I let you go. I said no to you so I could pursue something only half as good as you. And I'll admit, all those years we were apart, I did think about you. More often than I probably should have, given that Jason and I were together. But I didn't do anything about it because that seemed like the right thing to do; you had moved on with your life, I had moved on with mine, and I didn't want to open old wounds. Well we did just that four weeks ago, didn't we? We did open up those wounds in the hopes we'd heal them, and did we? I like to think we did, but there's still so much that has gone unsaid between the two of us. So, that's the last thing I'm sorry for. I'm sorry for the way I left things. For how I always seem to run away whenever things get hard with you. That's my way of protecting myself from getting hurt. But I'm just now realizing that getting hurt by you doesn't hurt as much as this, right here, right now, you being here, fighting for your life. Matt, I promise if you make it out of this, I won't run away anymore. I'll be here, ready to talk, ready to feel what I have been denying myself to feel for so long, ready to finally say yes to you and yes to a future with us together. And I know I'm with Jason, and I love him, I do; but deep down, I think I always knew I was with him because he was the safe choice. He's sweet and reliable, supportive and encouraging, and though there's something between us, it's just not what we had. Have. I don't think I quite realized that until after returning home from Paris, but I've realized it now, and I'm here now. So please, Matt, wake up, wake up so we can have a chance at something, a chance at the thing I robbed us from having ten years ago."

As she finished her last words, she let the silence overtake the entire room, with the sound of the monitors echoing in her ear. She didn't know what else to say, but at the same time, she felt she had said so much. Her eyes slowly started to close and she gave in to the tiredness she had felt ever since Stella had called her. As she was nearing sleep, she made out the faint sounds of a rabid EKG machine, and she drew her attention to it. Sylvie could see Casey's heart rate beginning spike, then suddenly slow, until the unwelcome sound of a flatlining EKG was all she could hear.


End file.
